they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
3pm strippers are depressing
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
