Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
