Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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