sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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