Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize