I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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