i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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