ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
