What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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