Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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