I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why do cheetos always look like penises
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
