it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
