I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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