I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
