I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
