I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Oh god it's open bar.
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