dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
