my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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