After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize