Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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