Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
