took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
