Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
