WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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