there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
