No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
