I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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