If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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