Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
