Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
