i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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