I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's rum buckets o'clock
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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