i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it was like eating out sand paper
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
