Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
