To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize