if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
