Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
