I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
