you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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