I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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