i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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