the condom got lost in my hair
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
