He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
