Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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