What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
