can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
