I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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