he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize