she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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