If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
