I think my fart just growled at me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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