did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you inspire me to be a worse person
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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