I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
