Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
