and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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