I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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