Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
