I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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