is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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