It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
